Is it time to attract a new tribe?

So many of my clients tell me that they have a lot of demands on their time. Maybe it’s people asking to “grab lunch” and that guilty gremlin voice says, “say yes” but after dining they thought more about their missed work than their “future connection” and other clients say their spouse asks them to “grab dinner” and they do just the opposite. They answer, “Oh I shouldn’t, I have so much work to do!” knowing their spouses are more forgiving. Or, clients tell me that they have read that they are the sum of the five people they spend the most time with, but look around and sadly realize that they have outgrown some of their friendships but making friends with new folks seems daunting. I always encourage my clients to look at who they are spending time with and assess which friendships are flourishing and which ones need to be placed at an arm’s length. When I meet with clients and we spend a coaching session “cleaning house” and
making a road map of the types of people they would like to attract into their lives it really works. And sometimes that means clearing out the old relationships, spending some time alone, and then trusting that you will meet people that fill the void versus settling on second best. Over the next month, go through your contacts while you are sitting at the doctor’s office waiting for an appointment and think about who you might want to reach out to; who would make you jazzed and energized about your next life goal? And who do you need to delete, or at least “be busy” the next time they call?

I have a little takeaway exercise that hopefully will help you grow your tribe in whatever areas you think are most needed to keep you on track towards your goals. Start by asking yourself the following questions:

  • Which areas of your life would you like more support in, professional or personal?
  • Are there groups you were involved in previously that brought you joy? What about those groups or activities were so fun and uplifting?
  • What are your passions and hobbies?
  • Are there major changes happening in your life? Would it be helpful to connect with others who are going through similar life events?

There are groups for everything these days, so identify where you’d like to grow your tribe and take 10 minutes to start researching some groups (online and offline) or organizations that you’re interested in checking out in person. And remember, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find that prince or princess.

Leave a comment below about where you have found your best personal and professional connections!?

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